


The Path We Could Have Taken

by BrownieFox



Series: of two archives [1]
Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: AU, Archivist Sasha AU, Character Death, F/M, Gen, No beta we die like mne, Sasha POV, Season 3 Spoilers, a sort of what if, but Jon also is kinda, i wrote this in like, it is what it is, less than 24 hours so, lost of arguing, sasha's the main character, things don't end well, uh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-17
Updated: 2020-07-17
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:40:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25343341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrownieFox/pseuds/BrownieFox
Summary: The Fall of Jonathan Sims as Seen by His Replacement, Sasha James, Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute.
Relationships: Martin Blackwood & Sasha James & Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist & Tim Stoker, Martin Blackwood & Sasha James & Tim Stoker, Sasha James & Elias Bouchard, Sasha James & Gerard Keay, Sasha James & Jonathan "Jon" Sims, Sasha James & Tim Stoker, Sasha James/Tim Stoker
Series: of two archives [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1838722
Comments: 5
Kudos: 160





	The Path We Could Have Taken

Sasha ran into the artifact storage with Elias Bouchard.

Perhaps, one day, she’d know this to be the turning point.

Perhaps she’d think it was when Jon got appointed to Archivist but Elias’ eyes had lingered on her. How his eyes always lingered on her whenever they were in the same room. 

Perhaps she wouldn’t think of a turning point at all, and just clump it all together into one horrible mess. 

For whatever it was worth, Sasha and Elias enter the artifact storage, hiding from something dangerous by surrounding themselves with dangerous things. The table with the spider web design was in there, and Sasha walks towards it carefully. It is set out in the middle of one of the halls, like nobody had bothered to put it away properly. They probably hadn’t, in all honesty, since nobody liked being in artifact storage for longer than was strictly necessary. 

“Careful,” Elias said, putting a hand on Sasha’s shoulder before she got too close and pulling her away from the table, breaking a sort of trace she hadn’t realized she had started to slip into, “We need to get out of here and set off the fire suppression system.” 

Elias took the lead, walking through the storage maze with purpose and certainty, and Sasha followed after. He stopped at a bookshelf, locked behind a glass wall, that made Sasha’s stomach churn uncomfortably. She knew what these must be. Leitners, rows and rows of Leitners. She took a step back, fear running freely up and down her spine just thinking of touching one of them.

Elias did not show her same hesitance, pulling a keyring out of his pocket and opening the door, looking more like he was trying to pick out a magazine off a rack than being moments away from pulling out a book that could make your entire body flip itself inside-out. If Sasha didn’t know better, she’d even say she heard him humming to himself and finishing with an,

“Ah, here it is.” 

The book he pulled out was one of the thinner ones, and he flipped through it, nodding to himself. 

“But, sir,” Sasha couldn’t help herself from saying. 

“Knowledge is power, Sasha,” He says, cutting her off, “Who would we be if we didn’t use it in times of need.” 

She doesn’t know what to say to that, since he isn’t talking about facts but about  _ goddamn Leitners,  _ but he clearly doesn’t expect a response. 

“This one, for instance, can cause someone to fade from existence, trapping them in what you may consider a ‘ghost-like’ state. But right here,” And he points to a paragraph. Sasha reads what he’s pointing to automatically, without thinking, and the world immediately slips into feeling  _ off,  _ feeling disconnected from reality, “Will merely leave us intangible for a short amount of time. Now, we must not waste any more time.” 

They run back out into a mass of silver worms that leap at them and pass through them leaving absolutely no effect. The worms try to chase after them, but they’re fast and any in their way pose no threat with the Leitner working its power on them. 

It wears off just before they reach the manual override. A few manage to attack Sasha’s legs and ankles, and Elias forged on ahead of her to the manual override while Sasha covered her face in hopes of getting out safe.

When Sasha woke up, she knew one important thing:

Elias Bouchard had saved her.

oOo

Jon had never been a warm and welcoming man.

He was much much worse after the infestation. 

He came in earlier than everybody else, locked himself in his office, and left long after everybody else had left. He had become like some kind of Archive cryptid (or another Archive cryptid, as there were several that circulated in rumors around the office), seen in scattered moments throughout the day if you were lucky. Or rather, if you were unlucky.

If Jon had been a prickly man before, he was now dialed up to 11. His well-kept appearance started to fade, becoming increasingly more rough and wrinkled. Sasha was fairly certain he didn’t always change his clothes every day, or even went home. The bags under his eyes grew more pronounced. His hair became longer. And if you spent more than a minute in his general proximity, he inevitably accused you of being out to get him.

He was paranoid. He was unpredictable. 

He didn’t trust them anymore, and had thus lost their trust in him as well. 

oOo

“We’re going out for drinks tonight, you want to come?” 

Tim shouted out to Jon’s office door. There was no answer, and Tim’s face deepened into a glare. 

“C’mon, you knew he wouldn’t answer.” Sashs pulled at the sleeve of Tim’s jacket, and when he looked down at her some of the angry lines smoothed out. Not all of them. He was angrier these days, after the infection, After Prentiss. 

Life was just all Before Prentiss and After Prentiss now. 

“He used to come. Sometimes. When he wasn’t being so paranoid!” Tim’s voice raised at the end of the sentence as he aimed the words at Jon’s office door. There was still no sign that he had heard them. 

“But even before, he didn’t come a lot.” Sasha tried to soothe Tim’s anger as best she could. Maybe Jon thought he was better than them when he got appointed to Archivist, that there was some reason they couldn’t hang out. The Archival team was essentially a separate entity form the rest of the Institute, and besides Elias - who was fairly hands-off - there was no one who would criticize Jon for spending time outside of work with the rest of the team.

No one, expect for Jon himself.

“He used to come all the time.” Tim grumbled. Sasha couldn’t help but to raise her eyebrows as she finished collecting her things and the two of them (Martin wasn’t with them, he was out on a research trip) started to make their way up and out of the building. 

“Jon? Jonathan Sims?” She asked, and for all the anger that had reclaimed Tim’s face, it fell off as he chuckled, only the barest amounts remaining. It was the best she could hope for these days. “Are you sure we’re talking about the same person?” 

“We worked in research together, remember? God, I miss research. I mean, the pay’s much better down here, but we also didn’t get attacked by worms or accused of planning murderer back then.” Tim said wistfully, “Anyway, once a month the entire research office would all go out drinking together, and you bet your ass we forced Jon to tag along multiple times. The three of us might not be enough, but you get ten, fifteen people pulling Jon away from his work and eventually he relents. You never saw him get drunk, did you?” 

‘Saw’. Not ‘haven’t yet seen’. Like the chances to see Jon get drunk are over, like bonding over drinks is a ship that had already sailed.

Maybe it had. 

Sasha hoped not. 

“Not yet.” She said, swinging her purse in her hand and pretending it was an accident when it knocked into Tim’s leg. 

“Well let me tell you, the man is a  _ light weight.  _ Get a few drinks in him and he is just gone, an absolute blubbering mess. If you ever wanted to know what was on Jon’s mind, give him a bit of alcohol and he’ll just tell you. If you’re able to figure out what he’s saying through all the crying, at any rate.” Tim grinned at the memory, and Sasha smiled up at him. His grin was always so nice, so bright. She loved it. 

“Oh, like you’re always Mr. Suave.” Sasha teases, hitting him with her purse again. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Tim asked, grin dimming into a sly little smile that said he knew exactly what she was talking about. 

“You get so giggly, it’s almost adorable!” Sasha said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. 

“ _ Almost  _ adorable? Why not just adorable?” Tim sticks her tongue out at her and she hits him again, but this time he was ready and grabbed her purse, lifting it above his head and well out of reach.

“Tim!” Sasha said, not able to keep any serious tone in her voice as she chased him up the stairs and out of the building, onto the darkening streets of London.

oOo

“You asked to see me?” 

Sasha cautiously stepped into Elias’ office. After the attack, he had gone back to being in his office, a myth in and of himself. Jon really had nothing on their boss. 

“Yes. Please, Sasha, sit down.” Elias gestured to one of the chairs in front of his desk. 

She couldn’t help but to think of the difference between his office and the Archiving office. Back there, there were always papers scattered around, in stacks on tables and next to tables, the different organization systems of Martin, Tim, and Sasha blurring into one another and making it almost impossible to tell where one’s mess ended and another began. Jon’s office… well, she wasn’t sure what it looked like these days. It used to be somewhat ordered, a mess that was organized enough you’d mistake it for orderly, but every peek she got in there made it look like that wasn’t up-to-date information.

Elias’ office was clean and proper. Everything had a place, and it was in that place. He had a bookshelf behind him, though none of the spines had titles that Sasha recognized. There was a couple of documents on his table, but they were in a neat and orderly stack, right in the middle of his desk. He had a computer that didn’t have a speck of dust on it. Nothing had a speck of dust. It was immaculate. It was perfect. 

(It made Sasha uncomfortable.)

He doesn’t answer right away, eyes looking at Sasha’s with a strange intensity. She wasn’t sure what he was looking for, but he seemed to find it as he finally blinked and nodded to himself and Sasha let out a breath of relief as the weight of his gaze, of his judgement, eased some.

“It has come to by attention that Jon’s recovery from the Prentiss incident has been rather… slow. Hm, no, that’s not quite right now is it? Jon’s state has been deteriorating. I have tried to offer my help, but he has been rather standoffish and made several rude accusations.” Elias said and Sasha found herself nodding along. She didn’t mean to ‘out’ Jon like that, she should be defending him, but… Elias was right, wasn’t he? 

Jon wasn’t getting better. He was getting worse.

“I’m sorry, we’re trying-” Sasha started but Elias held up a hand and she let her sentence fall, unfinished, in between them.

“No, no, this isn’t on you. I know you all are doing your best. My judgement when I chose Jon as the Archivist was… flawed, at best. It is a high-stress job, and I should have been the signs when he was so resistant to believing the true statements. I suppose it doesn’t matter anymore, what’s done is done, all we can do is plan for the future. And I believe that future is you, Sasha.”

“I’m sorry sir?” Sasha said. 

“The Archive needs an Archivist, Sasha, and you were always my first choice. There was a reason I chose Jon, a recommendation, but… well, once again, we can’t change the past.”

(And she couldn’t remember his exact wording. Sasha would think back on this meeting later, trying to figure out what he had said, what he had known even then. She had been so overwhelmed with what Elias was saying, the praise he threw her way, that looking back Sasha worried she had missed the clues.)

(Was it “If something happens to Jon”, or “When something happens to Jon,”)

“I want you to be my next Archivist.” That was what Sasha remembered, what had shocked her. She had… she had wanted the job, more than anything, much more than Jon had. She hadn’t let herself get too hung up about it, but especially at the beginning there she had felt the prick of jealousy whenever she saw Jon in that office. 

While Sasha was still trying to find words to thank Elias for the chance, the hope, the promise, Elias reached into a drawer of his desk and pulled out a folder, handing it over to Sasha. She took it wordlessly, flipping it open to find a name and a date and a single line of synopsis. It was a statement. 

“I would like you to start recording statements. You may use my office, if Jon won’t let you into his. Just one a week or so will suffice, but I want you to be prepared for your future role.” 

“But Jon-” Sasha finally said, at last remembering to step up for her friend(?). 

“Jon will continue his current duties. I would, of course, appreciate it if you keep this from him, if just to not let him believe we’re plotting against him and add fuel to his fire. You are simply a safety measure we hopefully won’t need, at least for a long long time.” Elias soothed.

He smiled at her and Sasha smiled back. 

As she left the office, she thought she might have heard a small *click*, but decided it was simply the sound of the door closing behind her. 

oOo

Sasha accepted her cup of tea from Martin, made just the way she liked it.

“Thank you, Martin.” She said and Martin smiled back.

“Of course, Sasha.” He replied, as he always did, upbeat, putting a second cup right by Tim’s head, which was currently on his desk, “Still hitting that dead end, Tim?”

Tim’s only reply was a loud groan, one hand reaching out and finding the handle of the cup while the other slapped his keyboard, putting a random line of text in the search bar. 

“Jon?” Martin called out, “I brought you tea.” 

No response. 

Sasha watched as Martin pursed her lips, but eventually set the cup right outside of Jon’s office door.

“I’ll just put it right here,” Martin said, “And you can grab it when you want it. Don’t let it get too cold, though.”

Sasha bit her lip and looked over at Tim, who had raised his head to look at her. He just shook his head sadly. With every day that passed, it seemed like Jon sunk lower and lower into his paranoia. Martin still kept trying, though. Sasha did as well, always trying to catch a chance to talk to Jon. He was outright avoiding them now, though. Sasha was certain of that. Sometimes, she wasn’t even sure he was in the office. She thought about the tunnels Tim and Martin had mentioned.

“Who knows, maybe Jon isn’t even here. Maybe he quit when we weren’t looking.” Tim said as he stretched up and put his arms behind his head.

“I feel like Elias would tell us if he quit.” Sasha said. Tim shrugged.

“I’m not so sure. Took ages to get a replacement for Gertrude, but then again, with how often she wasn’t in the office it took ages to really realize she wasn’t coming back.” Tim reasoned. 

“Would you quit?” Martin asked, finally taking his seat on his desk and sorting through his stacks of paper for what he needed. Tim blinked, and then looked towards the ceiling.

“Not sure. There’s still… I have things to do. And anyway, Sasha and you are here. I can’t just abandon you two to evil worm monsters. Let’s not forget I was the hero.” Tim lowered his head and grinned at the both of them. Sasha let out a small laugh.

“Oh really, and who set off the CO2?” She reminded them.

“Last I checked, it was Elias.” Tim reminded her.

“And who went and got Elias?” Sasha shot right back. 

Tim flicked a paper clip at her and hit her straight on the nose. It wasn’t long until it was an all-out war of office supplies, Martin taking shelter under his desk and then popping out to reveal he had made paper ninja stars out of dead leads and attacked both Sasha and Tim.

Sasha never got the chance to answer, but she knew she wouldn’t leave. Not without her team with her.

oOo

“What did he want to talk to you about?” 

Sasha blinked, taken completely by surprise when she found Jon not only out of his office, but clearly having been waiting for her in the main office, arms folded. Martin and Tim weren’t there, both out doing some research that needed more hands-on work. Were his eyes always that green? It felt like they were staring straight into her. 

“Who?” Sasha asked, brow furrowing as she tried to figure out who he meant. 

“You went up to Elias’ office.” Jon said it with absolute certainty, though how he knew that Sasha wasn’t sure. This was the first time she’d seen him face to face in a week at least, if she was being generous.

The statement and her tape recorder feel heavy in her hands. She had been recording a statement. They were… oddly exhausting to do, but it also filled her with pride to know that Elias trusted her with them. Even if nothing happened to Jon, surely it really sped things up to have both of them able to record the true statements, the ones that would only go no tape. She hadn’t even bothered asking Jon if he could use his office. Elias was right, Jon would immediately use it as an excuse to further rationalize his downward spiral. 

“Nothing important.” Sasha said, “He was just asking about you.”

It was immediately clear that this was the wrong answer.

Jon strode right over, and he doesn’t quite tower over her but he is taller and he looks down at her with those sharp green eyes and for a heartbeat, for just a second, she knows what a butterfly feels like when it’s been pinned down. 

“What exactly did he ask about me?” Jon demanded, and Sasha felt something building in her throat. She wanted to reply, tell him that she hadn’t actually been talking about him, that she had been recording. 

Instead of doing that, though, Sasha pushed Jon away from her and he stumbled back, his turn to be caught off guard, slipping on some loose papers and falling unceremoniously onto his butt. Now it was him looking up at her. 

“He’s worried about you, and for good reason.” Sasha said, holding her ground, “Jon, what’s gotten into you lately?”

“I-I, it’s, one second,” Jon got to his feet clumsily. This clearly wasn’t going how he’d thought it would, though Sasha had no idea how he’d expected this to turn out. She watched him go back into his office, and for a second she thought that was it, that her first ‘proper’ interaction with Jon in far too long was over just as quickly as it had started, but he came back out with a tape recorder. She saw the red button already pushed down, “Listen, Sasha, it’s just, I can’t… who can I trust? There’s somebody out there killing Archivists-” 

“An Archivist,” Sasha corrected.

“And it could be somebody from the institute, it could be any of you, andandand who am I supposed to trust?!” Jon demanded.

“Us, Jon, you trust us!” She said, almost desperately, trying to get it through Jon’s thick skull, the answer coming easy and quickly to his question, “Me, Martin, Tim, Elias-”

“Not Elias.” Jon shook his head. It had looked like maybe she had been winning him over. She had somehow managed to stumble into some kind of vulnerable moment for him, his walls had been coming down,  _ she could feel it,  _ but the second she mentioned Elias’ name he closed right back up. Sasha took a step back to get her bearing, shaking her head. Like when you’re looking at your laptop and the screen went dark unexpectedly, disorienting your for a just a moment. 

“Jon-” Sasha was ready to try again, though, she knew Jon must know how crazy he sounded. He knew them… didn’t he?

“Not. Elias.” Jon repeated, teeth clenched.

“Jon, he’s our boss, think about this rationally; why would he kill us?” Sasha asked. Jon just shook his head.

“Elias… can’t you feel it?” Jon looked at her, running a hand through his long hair. It was hanging in front of his face. If she was in a better mood, she might offer him a hair clip or band to keep it out of his eyes.

“Jon, he  _ saved  _ me.” Sasha reminded him.

“Did he?” Jon asked.

“God, Jon, you don’t think I was lying about what happened, do you?” Sasha asked, more than a little exasperated. This was… this was all going a little too far. Every day she worried more and more for Jon’s mental health. 

“No, I-I don’t, but  _ Elias,”  _ Jon said their boss’s name with venom, like it burned his tongue, and his eyes were back to that sharp green again that made something in Sasha whisper ‘danger’, “Elias can’t be trusted, Sasha. How do you know he saved you? Maybe you were just lucky enough-”

“Jon, you know how crazy you sound, right?” Sasha looked at Jon imploringly. He held her gaze for a moment before looking away. 

“The only sound between them was the click of Jon’s recorder turning off. 

oOo

“What if something or someone  _ is  _ killing Archivists?”

It was Martin who voiced the concern. 

Another day in the office another day doing research, though this time Sasha was doing it on her own statement. She’d printed out some documents and had moved her chair over to Tim’s desk so she could read them while leaning up against him. Tim was checking if he got any emails back from people he’d been reaching out to and Martin was currently on hold, the elevator music filling the office. 

“Martin, please tell me you aren’t buying into Jon’s crazy.” Tim sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. 

“N-no, but, well, what  _ if… _ ” Martin trailed off, scratching the back of his neck. 

“Well, we have exactly one Archivist who got murdered, right? Doesn’t make for much of a pattern.” Tim said. 

“W-well, what happened to the Archvist before Gertrude?” Martin asked and was met with silence. 

“Gertrude was around so long… I have no clue.” Sasha finally admitted.

“Jon’s just being crazy, Martin. You’ve got to let it go.” Tim said. Martin didn’t look quite so ready to brush it off but nodded anyway. 

Sasha continued to lean up against Tim, staring at her papers, but she wasn’t reading. Her thoughts were elsewhere. Could she be considered enough of an Archivist that, if something did have it out for Jon, it’d have it out for her as well?

No, only she and Elias knew about the promise he’d made her. She wasn’t technically an Archivist, just the next in line should something happen to Jon.

It was all going to be okay. 

oOo

“This is good work. Very good work.” 

Sasha could help but to smile as Elias sat in front of her, listening to one of her statement recordings and looking through the research she had personally done for it. 

“Thank you, sir.” She said, and Elias looked up.

“Elias is fine, Sasha.” He assured her. “How has recording been? I hope my office has been accommodating.”

“Oh, yes, it’s been perfect. Thank you so much s- Elias.” Sasha said. There did seem to be the slightest bit of an echo or something, when it was just her in here alone. There were no pictures on the walls, and you didn’t notice how much they broke up sound waves until you found yourself in a room without them. 

“Good, good.” Elias hummed. Eventually the cassette player clicked off and Elias removed the headphone from his head, setting them on his desk and pushed them back over to Sasha, “You work truly is phenomenal, Sasha. Yes, it’s clear to me now that I made a mistake.” The last part was said a little bit quieter. Not so quiet that Sasha couldn’t hear it, but quiet enough she wasn’t sure if Elias had meant to say it out loud or not. 

“Well, Jon is still doing his own work.” Sasha reminded Elias. Now was when she as going to make her big recommendation, and she sucked in a breath in preparation, stealing herself, “Maybe it’s better like this, actually. Two of us? Two Archivists? We can get so many more statements recorded.” 

Elias didn’t look at all surprised by her suggestion. He was already shaking his head before she was finished.

“No, Sasha. There can only be one Archivist.” He said it like a fact, like how one said ‘the sky is blue’, “But there is a reason I wanted to talk to you today, not just to check up on your preparation. You’ve been doing one statement a week, correct?”

“Yes.” Sasha nodded. It had been tiring, but she thought she was starting to get better at it. She wasn’t entirely sure what made them so exhausting. It was something more than just emotional exhaustion of reading true tragedies that had happened. 

“I would like you to start doing two a week.” Elias informed her.

“Two?” Sasha repeated. “But, Elias-”

“I know the statements can be a bit difficult to record when you’re not used to them, but I also need you to trust me when I say that I know you’re ready for it.” Elias held her gaze, calm and reassuring. Sasha wanted to protest, saying she needed another few weeks still before she thought she’d be up for it, but she just opened and closed her mouth with no words coming out until she finally said,

“Yes, of course.”

oOo

“He’s using her, why can’t she see it, why can’t  _ you  _ see it?!” 

“Jon, I-I think, well, I’m just saying-”

Sasha slowly crept into the office. She’d left her coat and had come back to grab it, apparently having arrived while Jon and Martin were in the middle of a fight. She had to admit, she was impressed that Martin had managed to get into Jon’s office. He was the one who saw him most. At the beginning of Jon’s whole… thing, they used to barge into his office whenever they really wanted in their attempts to help him. All it had brought about was them hearing him talk about how suspicious he was of them and Jon eventually barricading the door every day.

“There’s  _ eyes,  _ Martin, can’t you feel them watching you?” Jon demanded. His door was ajar.

“Jon-”

“No, of course you can’t, of course I’m just going insane over here, hearing things and seeing things and  _ Knowing things  _ that nobody else hears or sees or knows, but Martin, I just  _ Know  _ Elias can’t be trusted.” 

Sasha was also surprised considering it was the most open Jon had been about… anything, really, in the past few months. She supposed Martin’s constant offers of tea must have defrosted Jon to some degree. She found herself frowning as he brought up Elias again. 

“He did save Sasha during the Prentiss attack. Jon, he could have left her behind if he really had it out for us. Think about it: nobody would even think twice about somebody dying in the middle of all of those worms. If Elias was really trying to kill us, wouldn’t we have found some kind of proof?” Martin asked. Jon was quiet for a moment. “Jon?” 

“... he killed Gertrude.” 

“ _ What? _ ”

“Elias killed Gertrude.” Jon repeated. 

“How do you-”

“I just Know, okay? There’s, Gertrude was… there were things going on here, something bigger than just recording statements, and Gertrude knew that, and Elias knew that Gertrude knew, and he shot her.” Jon said it with conviction, and it was clear that whether or not it was true was really a trivial matter. Jon truly believed it. 

“And you think he’s going to go after you next?” Martin asked. 

“Yes. No. I don’t know. But whenever he’s around, I feel like I’m being watched. And whenever Sasha is around I… I don’t think Sasha should be so close to Elias. I don’t think she should trust him.” Jon said. Sasha couldn’t help but sigh as he brought that up again.

“Do you have any kind of proof?” Martin asked. There was no sound, but Sasha imagined Jon shaking his head. “I want, well, I don’t  _ want _ to believe you, but Jon, you can’t just make all these claims about Elias - about  _ us  _ \- and not have anything to back them up! How are we supposed to be able to trust you when you don’t trust us first?”

Silence.

“... if I have proof, you’ll believe me?” 

“Yes, of course.” 

“Okay. I can do that.”

There was a click of the tape recorder turning off, and Sasha grabbed her coat and left before she could be caught eavesdropping.

oOo

Jon went missing for a week.

It was Martin who noticed, of course, as he was the one who bothered to knock on Jon’s door to offer up tea, but the door swung open and revealed that Jon wasn’t in there. 

Sasha passed up the opportunity to record in the Archivist room and instead spent the week looking over at it with mounting worry. Jon never came in. Martin set a cup of tea on Jon’s desk anyway, and it was always there the next morning. Martin made a new cup anyway. Even Tim voiced his worry at one point.

“You think he was telling the truth about somebody trying to kill him?” Tim sounded like he was trying to make a joke, but it came out far too flat. 

“Elias would tell us if Jon had died.” Sasha assured them.

“That’s assuming Elias knows. I mean, of everybody, I’m pretty sure Jon was avoiding Elias most out of all of us.” Tim pointed out. Sasha frowned, but he was right. 

“I hope he didn’t get into something dangerous.” Martin said, still looking at Jon’s door. It was clear they weren’t going to get much work done until he was back. In a way, what was the point of doing work when it didn’t culminate in the Archivist reading the statement and putting it all together. 

This was what Sasha had been waiting for, right? What she’d been preparing for? So why was she so cautious, so reluctant to step forward and take up the mantle? At least until Jon got back. 

“I hope the idiot doesn’t do something stupid.” Tim grumbled. He was staring at Jon’s office too instead of his computer screen. 

Sasha tilted her head to the side. For a second she thought she’d heard something… a shirring sound… it was gone just as soon as she’d noticed it though, and she had too much on her mind to really pay attention to it. 

“Well, he’s our idiot, right?” Sasha said and Tim made a noncommittal grunt while Martin nodded. “When he gets back, we should have a real intervention about what’s been going on. The whole Jane Prentiss thing should’ve brought us close together.” 

“If by intervention you mean I finally punch him in the face for his stupidity, I’ll all for it.” Tim said.

“I could see that being allowed.” Sasha agreed. Martin made sounds of protest that made her smile just a little bit. 

oOo

Monday, there’s a corpse in Jon’s office.

oOo

Officer Hussain told Sasha that the man was a John Doe, but it didn’t do much to soothe her. She kept glancing into the office - the crime scene - and swore she could see the body still there, blood still soaking the carpet. He’d been stabbed to death by the looks of it, a messy way to go out that made Sasha lose her appetite for the next… ever, probably.

Martin, Tim, and Sasha were asked to wait outside until the cops were done. A normal investigation might take a while, may mean they’d have to relocate to a new room to work in for a while, but considering the murder had taken place at the Magnus Institute, it was probably going to be open and shut. Few questions, few answers. Just a body and a spooky feeling in the air.

“I guess he finally flipped his lid.” Tim said. 

Sasha didn’t say anything to that. Neither did Martin. She didn’t know whether to agree or try and defend Jon, her… they weren’t really friends, were they? Her acquaintance? Her old boss? 

“Here.”

Sasha looked up from admiring the pebbles on the sidewalk to see Officer Hussain standing in front of her and holding out a cassette tape. Somewhat numbly, Sasha took it from her, looking it over. 

“Did you find this in Jon’s office?” Sasha asked. Officer Hussain shook her head.

“Jon had me sneaking him some of the tapes we found with Gertrude’s body. I was going to drop this one off today, but I guess that’s not happening now. One of you might as well have it. Don’t know what he was doing with them.” Officer Hussain explained. 

A few minutes later, the last of the police left and they were allowed back into their office.

Sasha looked at Jon’s office.

She didn’t go inside.

oOo

“Shouldn’t we wait until we find out more about what happened to Jon?” Sasha asked. Elias head cocked to the side. 

“This is what we’ve been waiting for Sasha. I thought you would’ve been more excited to finally have the position you were robbed.” Elias said. Sasha bit her lip. 

“I know, but Jon’s still alive, and-”

“And he’s on his own now. He made it clear he wasn’t suited for the stress of the position. I trust you’ll handle it better, Sasha.” Elias leveled Sasha with a look. It was intense and almost oppressive, like a weight on top of her, and a chill ran up Sasha’s spine. 

“But-”

“Sasha, I thought you wanted to be the Archivist?” Elias cut her off. Tentatively, Sasha nodded.

“Well, yes-”

“Then let’s not look a gift horse in the mouth, shall we? Of course, now that you’re the official Archivist, I’m going to need you to start recording more statements. I have a few I have personally picked out as a good starting place for you.” He reached into his desk and pulled out four folders.

“Thank you, Elias.” Sasha said. She felt numb. 

The recorder in her lap clicked off. She hadn’t even realized she’d turned it on. 

oOo

“I’m going to start recording in a few minutes.” 

Sasha announced it to the team. Tim feet were propped up on his table and Sasha had propped hers up on top of his, causing her to tilt back precariously onto the back two legs of her chair. She had been sharing Tim’s desk since the dead body had been found. She couldn’t very well sit at her old desk, as that was nowhere Melanie, their new officemate, was sitting. Sasha had liked her well enough the couple times they’d met. 

Technically, Sasha could be sitting at Martin’s desk, as Martin wasn’t currently there. He had been tasked - by silent agreement - to try and figure out what Jon had been up to. Because he had to have been up to something, locked in there all the time, and he had all those papers scattered around. And, of course, there were Gertrude’s tapes. 

Gertrude was, it turned out, a bit of a badass. It wasn’t entirely clear what she’d been up to, but it was clear that the supernatural didn’t frighten her in the slightest. She always talked about it so casually in her tapes, like it was no big deal. She had always seemed rather frail whenever she was in the office, but apparently it was all just a front she had put up. 

There were a lot of puzzle pieces to this that none of them knew how to put together. At least, not yet. 

At any rate, Sasha couldn’t bring herself to record in Jon’s room.

She wasn’t sure what it was about it, but it felt rude. Jon was still alive out there. At least, she thought he was. She hoped he was. 

“Alright, you heard the boss, complete silence in ten minutes!” Tim announced loudly, like the two other people in the office hadn’t been able to easy hear her. She slapped his shoulder and then lost her balance, falling backwards in her chair and on the ground, groaning and holding the back of her head. 

“You okay over there?” Melanie asked, standing up like she might go over and help, but Tim was already over there and already helping Sasha back up. 

“Yeah, yeah, just knocked my head a bit.” Sasha waved off Tim. 

“Sorry, I was just so excited for story time. Is today the guy whose skin burned off, or the one who almost got lost scuba diving?” Tim asked, still hoving right next to her in case the fall ended up doing more damage that she’d thought it had.

“Scuba diver. And I’m not doing voices, so stop asking.” She got back into her seat, setting up the take recorder and the microphone, pulling out the statement and looking it over one more time. 

“We all know you’ll end up doing them anyway.” Tim said. Which, yes, that did seem to happen whenever she recorded a statement. 

She wondered if it happened for Jon too. The sudden and inexplicable focus, the inability to really  _ think  _ during a statement, so wrapped up into the events, practically feeling the emotions of the statement giver had experienced. She supposed she’d have to wait until he was back to ask. 

oOo

The woman who walked in was a stranger. She had had to schedule an appointment, as she was Sasha’s first in-person statement. Sasha had also had to tell Martin that she would need to use Jon’s office today, in an effort to have some kind of privacy for somebody who was probably going to tell them about the worst day of their life. Or it could be a false statement, which was always possible. Sasha was planning to try and record it on her phone and see if it stuck or not, the best and most foolproof way to distinguish false and true statements. 

The woman looked around the assistant office with a somewhat cold expression, taking her backpack off and revealing that it was one of those ones that could hold a cat, which it currently did. She opened it up, not bothering to ask if she could or not, and let the cat very literally out of the bag. It darted right into Jon’s office.

“That’s probably-” Sasha started. The woman crossed her arms, looking Sasha up and down, and then said while looking at Martin, Tim, and Melanie,

“So which one of you is the new Archivist?” 

“I am. Sasha James, nice to meet you, Georgie Baker, right?” Sasha put out a hand. Georgie looked at for a moment and then with a sigh shook Sasha’s hand. 

“Yeah, that’s me. I’m here to make a statement.”

“Yes, come on in.” Sasha led Georgie into Jon’s office. Sasha had to swallow down a lump as she sat in Jon’s chair. It technically wasn’t the same chair, as the other had been too blood-stained to be saved. Jon’s mess was now organized into Martin’s mess, which made the room look only slightly better than it had before. The cat had found Jon’s jacket, folded neatly off to the side of the room, and was curled up on it and purring rather loudly. 

Sasha moved to turn on the recorder, but apparently she already had as the red button was already down and it whirred away without a care. 

“Alright, well, let’s get started. Statement of Georgie Baker, regarding, uh,” Sasha looked over at Georgie. She hadn’t told them what she was going to be talking about when she’d scheduled the appointment. Georgie sat forward.

“Regarding the last time I ever saw Jonathan Sims.”

“St-statement begins.” Sasha said, even as her eyes widened and she looked at Georgie in a new light. Answers to what had happened to Jon had come right into their lap. Georgie let out a breath, and then began.

“I suppose I should start with how I knew Jon. We used to date, but ended up breaking. That’s not really important. What is important is that we remained friends and made a ‘ride-or-die’ kind of pact. If I ever needed him, all I had to do was go over. I wouldn’t even have to warn him I was coming. I could stay as long as I needed, and he’d help however he could. I never had any reason to use it, though. It was Jon who had to, a few weeks ago.

“He came to me in the worst state I’ve ever seen him in, looking like he hadn’t slept in months and had just gotten into a fight with a bear. At first he didn’t want to tell me what was going on, and I was fine with that even after the police stopped by asking I knew what had happened to him. It was after he came back with his hand all mangled up and burnt that I finally demanded he tell me what was going on. That’s when he explained he’d been framed for murder. Which, I have got to say, is not what I was expecting, but it was also a ‘ride-or-die’ pact, and in the state Jon was in there was absolutely no way he’d could’ve murdered someone.

“Jon said he’d been investigating tunnels underneath the Institute and had run into someone he called Jurgen Leitner, who was able to explain to him some things that were going on. He talked about fear entities and evil gods, and how he was pretty sure his boss had killed his predecessor. Jon was planning to do continue Gertrude’s work, I think, of stopping some kind of apocalyptic threat or whatever. I guess your boss found out and killed the Leitner guy, framing it on Jon, and so Jon was having to hide out at my place while trying to find more leads. He brought a few weird books with him that he told me not to touch. If you want them, you can have them.

“Anyway, I guess Jon found a lead. Somebody who was supposed to be in America who could help him. I bought him the plane ticket, he promised to pay me back, and the last time I saw him was at the airport. He texted me for a couple days, but then he went radio silent.”

Georgie leaned back away from the microphone and the play button clicked off of the tape recorder. Statement ends, Sasha guessed. 

“Wait, so, why are you here?” Sasha asked. 

“I wanted to know if you guys knew if he came back or not. He promised he’d keep me in the loop, but… well, he’d been acting awfully jumpy, so I wouldn’t be too surprised if he decided to cut me out.” Georgie said with a shrug. It didn’t completely mask how actually scared, no, concerned she was over Jon. Sasha could see that. 

“I guess you came to the wrong place then.” Sasha sighed, “We haven’t seen him in a lot longer time than that. You have… a  _ lot  _ more information on what he was getting up to than we do. Leitner… to think he was underneath the Institute this whole time…” Sasha’s hands clenched into fists just thinking about the man who had brought so much ruinto everybody. “But his claim about Elias…”

“Not a claim,” Georgie corrected, “He said he heard the entire murder happen. He got it on tape.” 

“What?!” Sasha stood up now, slamming her hands on the table and looking at Georgie. Georgie raised her eyebrows. 

“Yeah, he let me listen to it too. It doesn’t paint a very flattering image of your boss.” Georgie continued. “I think he was planning to stop by here after he got back with whatever he was in America for, but, well, that didn’t really work out I guess.” 

“I need to hear this tape.” Sasha said, thinking back on all the times Jon had tried to warn her against Elias. No, that couldn’t be right. Elias had saved her, had given her a chance at her dream job… but he’d also appointed Jon to Archivist. He hadn’t even bothered to do a thorough investigation into Jon’s disappearance. Why hadn’t he? What had he… been planning. This entire time. 

“It’s back at my place.” Georgie reminded her. 

“We’ll go right now. I need to pick up those Leitners anyway, they shouldn’t be in the hands of, well, anyone. God, Jon, what were you doing.” Sasha shook her head and she was once again reminded that happarently Jon had spent that missing week with  _ Jurgen fucking Leitner.  _

oOo

The walk to Georgie’s flat was silent between the two of them. 

Which was probably why Sasha heard the familiar whirring sound. 

“Uh, Georgie, is there something in your backpack?” Sasha asked. The backpack once again held her cat, the Admiral, who seemed perfectly content. 

“Just Jon’s jacket.” Georgie replied. Sasha did know that. It had been stuffed in the compartment that held the Admiral so that the cat could continue sitting on it. 

“Can I check?” Sasha asked. Georgie raised an eyebrow but swung her backpack around. 

There was a tape recorder in it, play button down. 

They left it on the street and walked a little faster.

oOo

“Explain yourself.  _ Now.”  _

“Now, Sasha, I know we’ve been getting close but it’s still polite to knock.” 

Elias didn’t look phased in the slightest bit of Sasha barging in on him, tossing the tape recorder down onto the table in front of him and  _ furious.  _

“Now!” Sasha repeated, pounding her fists on the table. Elias looked at her passively and gestured to the chair.

“Please, why don’t you take a seat, Sasha.” 

“No, you’re going to answer my questions-”

“And I will once you’re done throwing this little fit,” Elias said, “Now why don’t you take a seat and a few deep breaths, and then we’ll talk.” 

And it felt like a hundred eyes were on Sasha, pressing down on her, and for a moment it was hard to breath underneath their scrutiny, their weight, their demanding gaze. 

Sasha sat down, and the gaze eased up, but didn’t vanish completely.

“There, that’s better, isn’t it?” Elias nodded. “Now, what was you wanted to talk about?” 

“You murdered Leitner, you framed Jon for it, and just threw him aside like it was nothing.” Sasha accused, practically growling, seething with anger and betrayal. She had defended this man to Jon, she had trusted him, she had let herself believe that the looks he gave her were pride, that he saw potential in her. Now she could see how cold their were and she’d recoil from looking him in the eyes if she wasn’t already so set on staring him down. 

“I would have thought you’d be fine with Leitner’s death. The fool didn’t know what he was messing with, after all. It was long overdue for it to all come back for him.” Elias said, unconcerned. “And you’re the Archivist now, just as you always believed you should be. Jon-”

“Don’t you  _ dare  _ say his name, you don’t get so say his name!” She’d been cut off far too often by Elias, and this time Sasha turned the tables and spoke right over him, spitting venom with each word.

“Jonathon Sims is no more, Sasha. We must look to the future. And turn that tape off, would you? No need to have any ‘proof’, I can promise nothing you do will keep me away from my Institute.” 

Sasha blinked, unsure at first, and then heard the whirring of tape. She looked down at her hands. She… she hadn’t brought a tape recorder with her. She most definitely hadn’t turned it on. Nonetheless, she did try to turn it off. It turned right back on.

“I guess it wants to listen in.” Sasha said, more to herself than to Elias. If she had the moment, she would love to ponder about it. When she’d seen the one in Georgie’s backpack, part of her hand wondered if it was somehow Elias’ doing, but apparently not. 

“I suppose so,” Elias said, and his expression finally changed into a slight frown, “Now, did you really come in here just to yell at me?” 

“No, I came in here to tell you I’m  _ quitting. _ ” Sasha proclaimed. 

It did not have the effect she thought it would. 

Elias chuckled, shoulders going so far as to bounce slightly, and stood up, walking around until he was standing behind her, placing a hand on her shoulder and keeping her from getting up. 

“Oh,  _ Sasha,  _ you’re not going anywhere.” Elias said, and his other hand came up above her other sounder and twirled a piece of her hair around his finger. Sasha tried to claw at his hand, but he pulled away before she could do any damage, “Not if you want to continue living.”

“Is that a threat?” Sasha ground out.

“No, it’s a fact.” 

oOo

The news that they can’t leave doesn’t sit well with anybody. Especially Melanie. 

Melanie ended up getting Jon’s room, solely because she didn’t like being around the others and blamed them as the reason she was there now. Which didn’t make sense, as Elias had been the one to offer her the job and Melanie had been the one to accept.

There was one thing they knew: there was an event coming up, the Unknowing, where the Strangers’ cult or whatever was going to try and complete their own personal apocalyptic ritual. And whether they liked it or not, it was most definitely in their best interest to prevent it from happening. 

The tape recorders keep appearing as they try researching into the cult with little to no help from Elias (even just thinking his name makes Sasha’s blood boil, makes her face become hot with shame and anger and the desire to strangle him). Nobody is sure where they come from or where they go. Sasha wasn’t sure where the idea came from, but at some point she’d decided that they were coming from Jon, wherever he might be. She tells the others, and they seem to accept her theory. It wasn’t like they had a lot of other ones sitting around.

Sasha always talked out loud when one appeared, telling Jon what they were doing, asking questions about what he’d known before he’d left, when Leitner had told him, how he could’ve helped them. There’s never a reply, of course, but it feels good to say the questions that plagued her out loud. Had they been the same? She could feel the changes coming on. The others had told her that sometimes, when she asked questions, they had no choice but to answer. Had that been happening with Jon? Had that been one of the reasons he had avoided them? Did he know if it got worse,  _ how  _ much worse it got?

Had they missed the opportunity to support each other through the terrifying changes ahead?

Martin said that tapes always appeared to him whenever he was recording his poetry. He said this while blushing and not meeting Sasha’s eyes, and it had felt good to smile again, just for a bit, imagining Jon sitting back in a chair, eyes closed, listening to Martin reading out his poetry. 

Tim shouted at the tapes if they appeared around him. He shouted about everything he’d always intended to tell Jon, how he was an idiot for thinking he could do whatever he’d done along, that he should’ve talked to them, that he had abandoned them in their time of need. He broke them more than once by throwing them against a wall. He didn’t seem to much like being recorded, and Sasha did her best to respect his wishes. It was hard, because she found herself wanting to record things a lot these days. 

oOo

Sometimes, when Tim thought he was alone and a recorder would appear, Sasha could hear him asking it if there would’ve been a chance of them making up. If Jon would’ve been able to get over himself. If Tim would’ve been able to accept it. 

There was still no answer.

oOo

Once, Sasha took one of the recorders before it could disappear and rewound it past the time she had started talking, wondering (hoping) that there was a message that Jon had left them. There was nothing but a soft rustling sound. 

(She wondered if there had been at one point, but that he’d given up trying to send one like that.)

oOo

When their research took Sasha to America, she can’t find it in herself to be surprised. She kissed Tim as she left and promised she’d check in regularly. 

Tim had looked grim and sad as she left. He always looked grim and sad these days, the laugh lines on his face unused in so long that it made her heart hurt. But these was nothing she could do for that. Now right now, at least. Maybe one day. 

Hopefully soon.

oOo

Julia Montauk and Trevor Herbert have the answers that Sasha was looking for. 

They warn her that she looked like she was marked by one of the entities. She didn’t dare tell them, monster hunters, that she was an avatar, a monster in the making. She feigned surprise, did not so much need to feign fear, and asked them to explain.

“Just a feeling I’ve gotten used to telling.” Trevor Herbert explained with a shrug of his shoulders. “If I had to guess, I’d say it’s the Eye, but who knows really.” 

“Don’t worry, if it comes here we can deal with it. Dealt with an Eye monster not too long ago. I’d expected it to put up more of a fight, but,” And Julia Montauk shrugged this time, “I’m not going to complain, you know?” 

“Yeah. I’m glad you both got out of it safe.” Sasha said, feeling sick at the thought of what they could do to her. She doubted they’d so much as hesitate. 

oOo

Gerard begged her to tear out his page, to burn him, to kill him.

Sasha immediately agreed.

Nobody deserved to live that kind of half-existence, to just be a page in a book, a tool to be used. She supposed that she was now always going to have strong feelings about people using other people. 

The hard part doesn’t come from betraying Montauk and Herbert’s trust, because she doesn’t really care for either of them. The hard part is that Sasha kind of likes Gerard. He’s not necessarily nice, but he made some jokes about death that made Sasha’s mouth twitch into a smile, and it was easy to talk to him. So Sasha begged him to let her talk to him once more, when they’re not on a time crunch. She promised, swore on her life, to burn the page right afterwards. 

He had looked reluctant to agree, but had anyway, and Sasha tore the page from the book and tried to ignore the weird texture of the pages as she folded up his page. 

(It isn’t until later that Sasha realized that there was a page filled out behind Gerry’s, and she wonders. Oh, she wonders.)

oOo

The second time Sasha talked to Gerry, a tape recorder appeared and listened in.

“Neat trick there.” Gerry had said, nodding to the recorder.

“Oh, that’s not my doing. That’s, well, we think it’s Jon but we’re not really sure.” Sasha explained. 

“Jon?” Gerry asked, and Sasha looked down sadly. 

“He was… well, he was the Archivist before me, the one after Gertrude. He went missing a while ago and Elias seemed pretty sure he was dead. I guess he would know.” Gerry’s nose wrinkled up at the mention of Elias’ name.

“That guy always gave me the creeps.” Gerry agreed. “This whole Institute does. Any place that just keeps Leitners lying around is crazy. The only good Leitner is a pile of ashes.” 

“I found out what Gertrude was planning.” Sasha said, getting them back on subject, and that seemed to catch Gerry’s attention.

“Really?” 

“Explosives. A whole lot of explosives.” 

Gerry looked absolutely  _ giddy  _ at that.

“No way. Guess the crazy old bat was crazier than I thought. Man, I wish I could be there to see it go up.” Gerry said wistfully.

“You could be.” Sasha suggested. 

“Still dead, here. Can’t really do much of anything.” Gerry reminded her. 

“Well, yeah, but I could bring you with me and then read your page and put it in the middle of some explosives so you can really go out with a bang.” Sasha offered. 

“... I always did wish I’d gone out with a bang.” Gerry admitted. He was starting to grin. “You know what, hell yeah, I’m up for that. I’m going along.”

And Sasha matched his grin.

The tape clicked off.

oOo

Through the mayhem, through the madness, she can’t think, doesn’t even know what the concept of thought is. 

“Sasha, Sasha you need to focus, focus on me, come on you can do it,” There was somebody in front of her, ethereal and see through and dressed all in black, hands out like he wanted to touch her and ground her but couldn’t for some reason.

“Who-” She managed to choke out before another wave of nausea and confusion flooded over her and brought her to her knees.

“Oh Sasha~, there you are dear!”

There was somebody else, somebody who looked familiar. Did she know them? The figure - person? What was a person? - in black had spun around, as if trying to make themself a barrier between herself and the newcomer. 

“You get away from her!” The ethereal person threatened.

“Who are you? Either of you?” She asked, not even sure who she herself was. She felt lost, so very lost. 

“Why it’s me, your friend Jon! Surely you remember me!” The one with the pock marks in his skin spread his hands out, a grin on his face that was far far too wide. Or was it? How wide was a grin supposed to be again. 

“Ignore her Sasha. It’s me, Gerry! I need you to look at your hand. What is in your hand?” Gerry demanded. 

Sasha looked down. Yes, she had hands, didn’t she? There was something in one of them. What was it? It was so hard to make out, so hard to concentrate, so hard to think.

There was the click of a tape recorder. 

“The detonator.” Sasha whispered as it came into focus. Next to her, a recorder whirred away, “Jon, get out of here, you don’t want to hear this!” 

The recorder didn’t disappear. 

“I’m right here, Sasha! Hand it over to me.” Jon - no, the fake Jon - was drawing closer. 

Sasha squeezed her eyes shut and squeezed the detonator.

And Sasha knew no more.


End file.
